I've decided that this blog of Confusionosity is a little outdated so I thought up some new ideas, one of which is an A-Z of
random stuff awesomeness that I will post once a month ( possibly, if I remember). So here's the first one. Enjoy!
A for Awkward
There are many awkward things in this life (the way my little sister says “o-kward” instead of awkward is just one of them) but I think I've managed to sort all of these into three main categories: people, moments and situations.
Awkward People – There are many awkward people around, I’m talking about those people who just take great pleasure in making life difficult for you. People like the traffic warden who gave us a ticket for having our blue badge upside down. Or people like road maintenance guys who cordon off half the road three weeks before they actually do anything on it. You the people I mean. Anyway, the way I see it, there’s only one option – endure. Accept that these idiots wind you up in a way you never thought possible by realising that these sad, difficult people have nothing better to do with their lives and are so miserable the only way for them to get a kick in life is to make other people miserable…….. Or you could just slap them. Not that I'm promoting violence but be honest, we all think about it sometimes.
Awkward Moments – I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes – I am talking about those sorts of moments where your Mum tries to act “cool” in front of your friends. Or your friend shouts “awkward turtle” to you across a silent classroom. Or your ten year old sister has a better social life than you. These suck! There is nothing fun about them. Everyone is embarrassed that they even have to be there at the time of this catastrophe. All you can do is make “awkward turtle” signs to your friends and laugh about it, but trust me it never works.
Awkward Situations – These are very similar to awkward moments but are a little more serious than that. These are the sort of moments when you make an honest point about something stupid people do and then the person sitting right next to you goes “I do that”. I can’t be the only one who experiences these? The kind where you desperately try to take back everything you've said in the past five minutes by tripping over your words and making yourself sound like an absolute idiot??? I hope I'm not.