Saturday, 10 November 2012

A for Awkward

I've decided that this blog of Confusionosity is a little outdated so I thought up some new ideas, one of which is an A-Z of random stuff awesomeness that I will post once a month (possibly, if I remember). So here's the first one. Enjoy!

A for Awkward

               There are many awkward things in this life (the way my little sister says “o-kward” instead of awkward is just one of them) but I think I've managed to sort all of these into three main categories: people, moments and situations.

                Awkward People – There are many awkward people around, I’m talking about those people who just take great pleasure in making life difficult for you. People like the traffic warden who gave us a ticket for having our blue badge upside down. Or people like road maintenance guys who cordon off half the road three weeks before they actually do anything on it. You the people I mean. Anyway, the way I see it, there’s only one option – endure. Accept that these idiots wind you up in a way you never thought possible by realising that these sad, difficult people have nothing better to do with their lives and are so miserable the only way for them to get a kick in life is to make other people miserable…….. Or you could just slap them. Not that I'm promoting violence but be honest, we all think about it sometimes.

                Awkward Moments – I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes – I am talking about those sorts of moments where your Mum tries to act “cool” in front of your friends. Or your friend shouts “awkward turtle” to you across a silent classroom. Or your ten year old sister has a better social life than you. These suck! There is nothing fun about them. Everyone is embarrassed that they even have to be there at the time of this catastrophe. All you can do is make “awkward turtle” signs to your friends and laugh about it, but trust me it never works.

                Awkward Situations – These are very similar to awkward moments but are a little more serious than that. These are the sort of moments when you make an honest point about something stupid people do and then the person sitting right next to you goes “I do that”. I can’t be the only one who experiences these? The kind where you desperately try to take back everything you've said in the past five minutes by tripping over your words and making yourself sound like an absolute idiot??? I hope I'm not.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Live my dream

It doesn't matter, they say,
You tried you're best each and everyday.
But that won't fix my broken heart,
Or stop the pain that tears me apart.
It didn't grant me those wishes,
To stand in the sea or share those kisses.
That is why I cannot fail.
I cannot allow myself to grow too frail.
I will go to college and then to Uni.
If it's not what you'd expect, sue me.
But I have to do it.
Live my dream and scream screw it.

Thursday, 19 July 2012

What do you see?

Look at me and what do you see?

A child of sixteen? Or a woman to be?

Do you hold me in contempt? Or do you have true affections?

Did we have connections? Or was it only corrections?

Did you want to take care of? Or was it only a duty?

Did you mean what you said, when you spoke of true beauty?

Did you want to, try to, or even mean to understand?

Or were you being honest, when my ideas were canned?

When you stopped saying those three words... ... ...

Was there a reason? Or am I being absurd?

Did you want me to try harder? To give my all... ... my everything?

I know it wasn't much, but at least it was something?

Would you be angry if I told you the truth?

Would you listen and understand? Or would you laugh at my youth?

Would you want me to be happy? Would you wish me well?

Or would you spit in my face and condemn me to hell?

Would you give me a choice, my freedom, my space?

Or would you continue to control? Not let go and continue to chase?

Would you open your heart and let me look after?

Or should that bitter sweet smile be given a BAFTA?

If you look at me... What do you see?

A child of sixteen? Or a woman to be?

Do you see the questions in my head?

Do you care? Or do you wish me dead?

Do you see the silent tears?

Or do you see the smile that hides fears?

If you look at me... What do you see?

The person I am? Or who you want me to be?

Monday, 28 May 2012


In two days time I will be finishing school so for my English teacher I made a particularly special present......... SUPERHEDGE!!!

Last year he found a hedgehog in his back garden so made up the story of SuperHedge. He than managed to drag it into six months of lessons and well.... He's kinda being given tonnes of hedgehog stuff. =)

Making SuperHedge took me forever!!! Especially sticking on the spikes individually.........

So I'm planning on giving it to him on Thursday and I hope he likes it!!!

SuperHedge to the rescue!!!

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Between these pillars

Between these pillars of word and wood,
We sat as long as we knew we could.
Staring hazily at the spines,
We dreamt of a world so fine.
Where we were free
To shout, to scream, to simply be.
For here we are among friends,
Even if they were created by pens.
In hushed voices we whisper,
But we've never sounded crisper.
We talk of the horrors beyond
This haven of which we've grown so fond.
In Greecian times they would've wrote a play,
A tragedy in every way!
To describe our valient fight,
Against our wicked enemy's might.
And whilst I read of heros of old,
Who were adorned with gold,
I know the fact that we are here,
Is something we should both hold dear.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Bucket Lists

Bucket lists,
To be kissed,
To have loved and laughed.
It all gets a bit daft,
But still I made one.
To have a daughter or son,
To raise them well.
These are dreams you cannot sell.
One day I'd like,
To preach with a mic,
To meet Stephen Hawking,
To find a way to get walking,
To travel the world,
To be danced, dizzied, and twirled,
To be wed,
To share a kingsize bed,
To sell my art,
To own anothers heart,
To be independent,
To stop being the defendant.
Fighting to achieve this, I'll never quit.
I just hope I can do it.

All the things I want to do in my life are in here.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

To The Unknown

To the unknown,
To who
No compassion is shown,
I will love you.

To the unamed,
On your graves
Nature was untamed,
I will know you as one of the braves.

To the unremembered,
Of who all is gone,
And all memories dismembered,
Yet I'll wonder who you were when the sun shone.

To the undying dead,
Who are buried behind my garden,
Of the place you rest your head,
I will be a protector and warden.

There is a cemetery just beyond my garden, many people find it eerie but I find it peaceful. I  took the twins the other day and we put flowers on every grave without a name or flowers. Noone should be forgotten.